There’s no sun up in the sky
Stormy weather
Since my man and I ain’t together
Keeps rainin’ all the time
Just when you thought her hour and 15 minutes of fame were over, Stephanie Clifford storms back into the limelight by announcing she will be seeking the City Council seat in District 26 currently held by Jimmy Van Bramer when he’s forced to leave in 2020 due to term limits.
While she currently has no affiliation with Long Island City whatsoever, like every resident she recognizes the opportunity and high visibility of being directly across from the heart of Manhattan. “Since TF Avalon is currently offering 3 months free rent on every lease, it’s so much more affordable on this side of the river. Plus I hear you can pay-in-kind.” In addition, Ms. Clifford noted that there are numerous employment opportunities in LIC for her line of work, to fill in the gap before her term would begin. On being informed that in addition to LIC, District 26 encompasses Sunnyside and parts of Astoria, Maspeth, and Woodside, Ms. Clifford excitedly replied “Ooh, I really look forward to servicing the people of Long Island City and all its appendages.”
While it wasn’t quite an outright endorsement, Councilman Van Bramer stated “Given her proclivity for publicity, not to mention her bona fides, Stephanie would be perfect for the job.”
Though Ms. Clifford is currently on a ‘listening’ tour across America, when asked if she plans to use the seat as a stepping-stone to the Presidency she snapped “Been there, done that! …but I do plan on ending every campaign rally by singing ‘Happy Birthday Mr. President’ a la Monroe.”
Stripper Poles Add Value to Condo’s When Selling Says Modern Spaces Broker – newly-renovated kitchens are so 2014
Eggpocalypse Now – when Easter lands on April 1, Eggmageddon is sure to come
Pothole on 46th Avenue Filled In a Timely Manner – as first reported in the LICpost
DOE Building on 44th Drive to Become Cloning Center – will mass produce clones of The Editor
Video Store Coming to Vernon Blvd – April Fools!
Anonymous says
April 1, 2018 at 1:30 pmThank you for being the pulse of this neighborhood.
Anonymous says
April 2, 2018 at 1:24 pmYou almost got me there!!