Hey readers of LICtalk, there’s absolutely no local news to speak of, and I’m nestled in a chalet in Chamonix. Thus, no better time to take the lead from the major networks and give you a re-run:
NO GIFTS PLEASE
On January 1, 1994, China devalued its currency by 50% in a single day, and since then has experienced a manufacturing boom …in modern times there never has been free trade with China; the US has already been in a trade war for nearly two decades; and it is the only time in this nation’s history it surrendered without ever firing a shot. The United States lost six million jobs, indebted itself to China by $1.4 trillion, and received in return a host of consumer goods, many of which now reside in landfills across the country. -Paul Tudor Jones
Now that the year is about to turn, the parents of LIC will be starting a whole new round of birthdays for their kids. In return for cake, pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey, and meet n’ greets with Eli Manning and Beyonce; young guests (or their custodians/handmaidens) are expected to bring a gift for the birthday child. While this is a time-honored tradition, I couldn’t help but wonder, having witnessed this orgiastic display firsthand(as a journalist), if maybe it hasn’t become a bit of an anachronism in the 21st century? Lo and behold, it seems that I am not alone in this thinking, because over the summer a source forwarded me a birthday missive replete with the usual verbiage about princesses and superheroes and Who/What/When/Where. Yet right there, in the midst of all the balloons and glitter and pastels, was the request “No Gifts Please.”
How audacious, innovative, and modern. In lieu of gifts, the request was for a drawing which would then be put into a picture book. Since I’ll never invent something really useful like the polio vaccine or Spanx, I was kind of envious that I had not been the originator of the idea. Nevertheless, it is an excellent one and especially well-suited for LIC. Let’s quickly dispense with the money thing, as the expense is fairly minor …in monetary terms. In fact, it’s the thinking about and purchasing and wrapping and remembering to bring the gift that’s probably more taxing.
Then, as the recipient’s custodians/handmaidens know well, it’s the unwrapping and cleaning up and putting together and returning to the store. Or not, because maybe it’s better to have three copies of ‘Hop on Pop’ or ‘The Princess blah blah blah Happily Ever After.’ Which leads to another reason for a “NGP” clause in the birthday contract: clutter! As has been documented many times in this venerated publication: apartments in Long Island City are predominantly small. The last thing one needs in them is more “stuff.” Finally, since we don’t want you to be fingered as a malevolent spoilsport solely for self-centered purposes, we’ll remind you of the environmental angle: less stuff = less plastic, less packaging, less transportation. Oh, and throw in something about a trade war with China and starving kids in India and you’re home free. Wow, it’s not even 2014 2015, don’t you feel better already?
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