According to a recent expose in the New York News, Long Island City has evolved into a major hub of promiscuity. An unusual occurrence of circumstances has led to this leadership role. First off is the proliferation of hotels that have sprouted recently. Their reasonable hourly rates, combined with the laissez-faire attitude adopted when on vacation, and mixed with the new slogan adopted by the LIC Chamber of Merchandising(LICCM) “What happens in Queens stays in Queens” is really giving New Canaan a run for it’s money as the key party capital. In addition to the new slogan, it’s not unusual to hear Manhattanites utter that sex in the outer boros doesn’t really count anyway. Throw in a thriving artist community(think Picasso, De Kooning, Pollock) and philandery has become LIC’s biggest export …and import. Finally, the locals have joined in too, as the short commutes have left plenty of time for illicit rendezvous. Mary M., a 30-something attorney and local mother of two toddlers states “Despite working long days and weekends at a major law firm in order to make partner, I simply find I have an extra 20-30 minutes every day of unallocated time.” At the other end of the spectrum is Tyler S., a neo-nerd currently working for the start-up zilch.com, who takes a different tack on why this phenomenon has occurred locally “It’s long overdue that Queens one-ups Brooklyn in something hip.” He goes on to share the new craze amongst his generation(or did he say genre?): virtual orgies. Which when boiled down didn’t sound the least bit new to this long ago teenager. Tyler’s predilection notwithstanding, LIC’s reputation as the new swinging capital of the world is not expected to go away anytime soon. Local politician Mike Van Nolan has just received $600,000 from the City Council for an illuminated sign advertising our newfound moniker, which will be placed on the waterfront for the whole world to know. Keep that in mind next time you think you recognize an attractive twosome at Shady Park “Hey honey, isn’t that the couple from Bushwick that we…”
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