INTERVIEW WITH THE EDITOR

Here at LICtalk, we receive plenty of correspondence from the neighborhood wanting to know more about the man behind the curtain. I’m not talking about emails or tweet-to’s, I mean long-form hard copy such as love letters, sometimes even with drawings …and cookies.

Despite a longstanding journalistic policy at this site to prevent the reporter from becoming the story, the public outcry has been so great, that the publisher has made the decision to broach the fourth wall and allow The Editor to answer your questions as posed in an interview with Katie Couric.

Katie: Who are you?

The Editor:  I am a hermit living at the southern tip of Hunters Point.  For years I had been writing my rants in scribbles on scraps of paper.  Then, when I came to the realization that this dot.com thing was here to stay, I went electr(on)ic.

Also, as my readers can probably deduce, I am completely schizophrenic: vacillating between a wealthy single player (uh, ok loser) and a besieged father living in a two-bedroom in Queens.  I just can’t tell which is real and which is my alter ego.

Q: How do you determine what is newsworthy?

A: Ehh, I basically post whatever is bouncing around in my brain at the time that the Circle Line comes near the shore and I can poach their wifi.

Q: Your prose used to be so eloquent, even a bit witty, what’s happened in recent years?

A: Like any great writer/artist, my best work was conjured and created in my youth.  Just think of The Beatles, at the beginning they created classic hits like Can’t Buy Me Love, Love Me Do, and Twist n Shout.  But midway into their career they came out with Sgt. Pepper and it was all down hill from there, as they began singing about raccoons and walruses.

As for me, two kids and a mortgage and I’m just in it for the money – sorry if that’s reflected in my writing.

Q: What Ivy League college did you attend?

A: The original one, Oxford.

Q: How many years did you toil at The New York Times/New Yorker/The Economist?

A: Interesting that you should recognize the pedigree of my work.  As it turns out I am also a professional photographer, and in the early part of my career my desire to emphasize the duality of my skills led me to the employer that I felt could best harvest my talents: The National Enquirer.  I then moved up the chain to The Globe, did a three-month stint at Mad magazine, two years at Hustler, wrote copy at Farm Equipment Catalog until an unspecified incident, then rounded out my career on the publishing side by cold-calling for ads at the Penny Saver.  Ahh good times, yeah…

Q: What does the future hold for LICtalk?

A: One word Katie: video!  I just signed on to direct a pilot based on the social lives of several 20 and 30-something women who live in LIC.  It’s going to be very candid and sexually frank.  I thought up the whole concept and nothing like this has ever been done before.  In Queens anyway.

Q: Why do you do this?

A: Nothing motivates me more than the lack of innovative, insightful, and hard-hitting information in Long Island City as written by an insider. Instead we get stories such as:

Mural to Go Up on Gritty LIC Bridge – in a month

Nearly All NYC Schools to Get Door Alarms This Year Under ‘Avonte’s Law’ – nearly all!

The 10 Most Expensive Apartments for Rent in Queens – 7/10 are in LIC